it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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