I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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