He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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