For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
