yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
