and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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