Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
