Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
