dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
