i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
