i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
