She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize