You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
