Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
