READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
3 2 1 whiskey
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
