i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
