I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize