I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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