carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
