I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
