first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
we're making bets on your personal life
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
