I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
