I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
