It's Friday. Sex?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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