you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
