he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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