Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
