I don't think brook has ever known best
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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