8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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