The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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