just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
