i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
