I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
