we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
