this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize