Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize