hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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