I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
