I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
