...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
