you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
