He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
