I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
