I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
