Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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