So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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