Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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