But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
