apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
