Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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