Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
