Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I deserve this hangover.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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