what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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