Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
third nipple confirmed
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
