Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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