she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
