fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
