ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
