dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
