The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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